Sigh~

These days have been my toughest day in my life.  I've been feeling very upset on what have been happening.  Last night when he came home late, i was so happy to see him back but when he gave me a kiss, i could smell he's been smoking.  Um.. I just can't accept he's been treating me like an idiot that i couldn't feel anything.  I was sensitive on smoke and i could smell it easily.  Well, I guess the most important thing is...everybody knows he smokes but i am just hiding from him.  Maybe he doesn't want me to get upset but i hate being hiding from people especially him.  Does he know I am already upset recently and he's pushing me harder.  My heart is broken, and my tears is gone.  I have no more emotion and hope on anything.  My world becomes so dark after going through these incidents.  I want to talk to him about it but i don't know how.  I don't know if he senses anything because i was kind of ignoring him.  Anyway, i don't care anymore.  Whatever he does, i just can't control him.  When he smokes in the office, i wouldn't know.  Just everybody knows in his office and i don't.  How sad.....No wonder one time his friend asked him if he wanted one and he said no...probably he does it with them but not in front of me.  I am upset by everything.  Where's my sunshine? I used to be a happy girl but now....